words to live by if you are married or have a significant other

[Mike]

Wrong forum but I thought this was great. Most of us can probably relate.

The Point System (according to women)

In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any

points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point

system:

Simple Duties:

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)

You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)

When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)

When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)

In the snow (+8)

But return with beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with a six iron (+10)

It's her pet? (-50)

Social Engagements:

Party:

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college

drinking buddy (-2)

Named Tiffany (-4)

Tiffany is a dancer (-6)

Tiffany has implants (-8)

Her Birthday:

You take her out to dinner? (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is printed in

all of the colors of your favorite sports team (-10)

A Night Out With the Boys:

Go with a pal (-5)

The pal is happily married (-4)

Or frighteningly single? (-7)

And he drives a Mustang (-10)

With a personalized license plate that reads GR8 N BED (-15)

A Night Out:

You take her to a movie? (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called Death Cop 9? (-3)

Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

Your Physique:

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy

Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."(-800)

The Big Question:

She asks,? "Do I look fat?"

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply,? "Where?" (-35)

Any other response? (-20)

Communication:

When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression(0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)

Who can relate????? ?

Mike

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98WR White Bros E Series stock head pipe, IMS Tank/seat Pro Tapers Works Connection guards. Stock timing

[Matt_Porritt]

Going by that...

Hmm.. let me see... 1,2,5,11...

I'm -2139 points for this week alone!! ?

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--

**Ride it like you Stole it!**

Matt Porritt

99 YZ400F

Rubber Chicken Racing

[paul913]

Here's another:

Excuse for being gone all evening:

Went to vist Sister and Brother-In-Law (+2)

To discuss today's ultra-sound (+10)

but spent most time talking to Freeze (+1)

In the garage (-1)

working on his bike (-10)

Oh, and we had to test ride it (-50)

(Heat your own damn dinner! - is that beer I smell?)

By 10:00 pm I dug a big hole. Carefull, it's a slippery slope out there! In politics, I think they call this SPIN!

Jake

[Bill]

This is classic all I could do was laugh. My 10 year old was in the room with me and thought I was loosing it. Laughing at the computer....not that I ever "had it!

As of today, June 24 it's been 17 years. I don't bother worrying about "the score". I just take my beating, load up the bikes on Sunday and ride..........see all better!

Bill

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86TT225, 98CR80, 99WR, WR timing, throttle stop trimmed, air box lid removed, White Bros head pipe, silencer and air filter. Odometer and headlight removed. Moose hand and mud guards. YZ stock tank and IMS seat. Renthal Jimmy Button "highs" and Renthal Soft half waffle grips. AMA, SETRA.