How to get a job at the local dealership...

[clark4131]

Considering the endless supply of stories we seem to have about the knuckleheads that are employed at the local bike shops, I think I've figured out what the average interview for a job must be like. Tell me if this makes sense to you...

______________________________________________________________________________

Sales Manager: So tell me son, why do you want to work here?

Applicant: Dude, 'cuz motorcycles rock. My cousin has this killer bike and he let me ride it once and it was totally cool. It would be totally cool to be around these bikes and maybe I could even get one in a couple of years.

SM: Great, great. Okay, next question. In your opinion, what makes you qualified for this job?

App: Dude, 'cuz I love motorcycles. They're just so cool. And like, that McGrath guy and that Ricky dude are just so cool, and I wanna like, maybe meet them, and...do you think they might come in here sometime?

SM: I don't think so, but you never know. I sure do like your enthusiasm. Alrighty, moving on. What kind of work experience have you had that will help you to be a good employee for this dealership?

App: Well, like before I dropped out of high school five years ago, I like made this cool carving in wood shop of a naked chick with big riding a dirt bike. And all my bros thought it was totally kick ass, but Mr. Bevolocqua said it was inappropriate and gave me detention. But I didn't care, 'cuz then I got to draw all these cool pictures of dirt bikes and more chicks with big , and my bros said those were sick and wanted me to draw more so they could put 'em up in their rooms, so I did. It was so cool.

SM: I see. So you have some creative ability, that's definitely a plus. Now here's a question about product knowledge. What would you say to a customer who comes in after he's already purchased a bike and has a question regarding proper break-in procedures, maintenance or repairs.

App: Oh that's easy bro. I'd tell the dude, "Hey man, just ride it like you stole it!"

SM: Your enthusiasm is great. I'm getting a great feeling from you. Okay, two more questions. What would you say to a customer who is upset because his dirt bike has experienced a minor mechanical problem during the warranty period that was obviously caused by a manufacturing defect. The motorcycle is still rideable, but he'd like to have the problem repaired under warranty and as soon as possible.

App: I'd tell the dude, "Hey bud, sorry but you're S.O.L. It's gonna cost you some major dinero to fix that, but we probably won't be able to get to it for a few weeks. So go ahead and leave it with us and we'll get to it when we can. I'll call you in a few days to let you know." Then I'd totally take his bike out and roost it like a freak. It's not my bike and it's already thrashed, so who cares, right? Then I'd tell him that he thrashed it and he's totally gonna have to pay up sucker!

SM: Now that's a good answer. Looking out for the dealership is the hallmark of a good employee. I think we may have a job for you. One last question...Do you do drugs, and if so, what kind?

App: Totally dude! I love tokin' the chronic and doing bong hits through JD. I'm even kinda wasted right now. My girlfriend can get the best X in town too. Her Mom deals it, so we can get it cheap.

SM: Fantastic! You're hired. Minimum wage gonna be okay?

App: Totally sweet!

__________________________________________________________________________________

Now of course this was meant as a satire, so those of you with delicate sensibilities, please don't take offense. Although, I must admit, my local shop employs this very type of person right now, so I thought I'd use it as inspiration. I hope you enjoyed it...SC

[Matty05]

too true!

[Slowmotion426]

?

[RCannon]

Great post! Still, its not always the dealers fault.

I worked at a local shop during high school. You woudl be amazed at how lame most of the customers are. There were soem cool one who woudl walk in and say..."give me Honda part number XXX-XXXX. They knew what modle and yer they were riding.

There was one guy that stands out. He became enraged and offered to beat the s#i* out of me because I did not know which plug went in his "red" honda. No year or size given.

The job was enough to ruin anyone. I love motorcycles, but those two years were enough to make me never want to work in a shop again.

[DIGITAL_SOLDIER]

DUDE!!!

I had Mr. Bevelocqua as a shop teacher too man!!

COOL.

[kirkw]

That must be the dealer issued job definition list. My local shop has similar employees. however, you for got the job interview question of "How do you handle a customer that has to order a part, cause god knows we don't stock anything?" Ans."Dude, I am doing you a big favor getting this part. I was surfing porn on the shop's highspeed connection and you interrupting the streaming video of a chick with big $%*!"

[dman450f]

Considering the endless supply of stories we seem to have about the knuckleheads that are employed at the local bike shops, I think I've figured out what the average interview for a job must be like. Tell me if this makes sense to you...

______________________________________________________________________________

Sales Manager: So tell me son, why do you want to work here?

Applicant: Dude, 'cuz motorcycles rock. My cousin has this killer bike and he let me ride it once and it was totally cool. It would be totally cool to be around these bikes and maybe I could even get one in a couple of years.

SM: Great, great. Okay, next question. In your opinion, what makes you qualified for this job?

App: Dude, 'cuz I love motorcycles. They're just so cool. And like, that McGrath guy and that Ricky dude are just so cool, and I wanna like, maybe meet them, and...do you think they might come in here sometime?

SM: I don't think so, but you never know. I sure do like your enthusiasm. Alrighty, moving on. What kind of work experience have you had that will help you to be a good employee for this dealership?

App: Well, like before I dropped out of high school five years ago, I like made this cool carving in wood shop of a naked chick with big riding a dirt bike. And all my bros thought it was totally kick ass, but Mr. Bevolocqua said it was inappropriate and gave me detention. But I didn't care, 'cuz then I got to draw all these cool pictures of dirt bikes and more chicks with big , and my bros said those were sick and wanted me to draw more so they could put 'em up in their rooms, so I did. It was so cool.

SM: I see. So you have some creative ability, that's definitely a plus. Now here's a question about product knowledge. What would you say to a customer who comes in after he's already purchased a bike and has a question regarding proper break-in procedures, maintenance or repairs.

App: Oh that's easy bro. I'd tell the dude, "Hey man, just ride it like you stole it!"

SM: Your enthusiasm is great. I'm getting a great feeling from you. Okay, two more questions. What would you say to a customer who is upset because his dirt bike has experienced a minor mechanical problem during the warranty period that was obviously caused by a manufacturing defect. The motorcycle is still rideable, but he'd like to have the problem repaired under warranty and as soon as possible.

App: I'd tell the dude, "Hey bud, sorry but you're S.O.L. It's gonna cost you some major dinero to fix that, but we probably won't be able to get to it for a few weeks. So go ahead and leave it with us and we'll get to it when we can. I'll call you in a few days to let you know." Then I'd totally take his bike out and roost it like a freak. It's not my bike and it's already thrashed, so who cares, right? Then I'd tell him that he thrashed it and he's totally gonna have to pay up sucker!

SM: Now that's a good answer. Looking out for the dealership is the hallmark of a good employee. I think we may have a job for you. One last question...Do you do drugs, and if so, what kind?

App: Totally dude! I love tokin' the chronic and doing bong hits through JD. I'm even kinda wasted right now. My girlfriend can get the best X in town too. Her Mom deals it, so we can get it cheap.

SM: Fantastic! You're hired. Minimum wage gonna be okay?

App: Totally sweet!

__________________________________________________________________________________

Now of course this was meant as a satire, so those of you with delicate sensibilities, please don't take offense. Although, I must admit, my local shop employs this very type of person right now, so I thought I'd use it as inspiration. I hope you enjoyed it...SC

well...thank god the people at my parts counter are just as avid about dirt bikes as me...the other shops in town dont get my buisness . and I do ALOT of buisness...??

[Cedric]

I think the big problem is right there in the last question - Minimum Wage. Anybody who has the skills to do this job properly probably also has the skills to do a job that pays a lot more cash. I would love to work in a bike shop, and I know I could do a great job of it, but I can't imagine working for peanuts.

[new2fourstrokes]

As they say, you pay peanuts all you get is monkeys...