...the tulip im talkin about is the larger diameter at the end of the stem, not talking about the lip that forms over time.
That is the valve head. The head is at the combustion chamber end of the stem, and the face, which seals against the seat, is ground onto the head. The margin of the valve is that area that hangs out over the valve seat. The margins of exhaust
valves need to be thicker in order to carry off the additional heat they are exposed to relative to the intakes. In an engine where valves are reground as a rebuild procedure, the margins must be inspected to be sure they are not made too thin by the process, or that in itself can lead to the kind of damage you referred to, even in the absence of any other problem.
The term "tulip" is association with an engine valve is one of the most often misused terms I've seen on this site. "Tuliping" does not refer to the wearing of a groove into the valve face, but to a problem that is very seldom seen in modern engines because of the advances in metallurgy made in the last 40 years. What it is is this: The valve head becomes weakened, usually by heat, and the pressure of the valve spring deforms the head by pulling the stem farther up into the port, bending the head into a cup shape typical of the tulip flower, thus the name. When you think about it, the wear that takes place on the face, it's the exact opposite of tuliping, giving the valve a flared out appearance.
Not trying to be a PITA, but misuse of nomenclature in technical discussions is the root of about half of all disputes like this.