As far as chest protectors go, The Acerbis Lady Fusion is the one I prefer. Its stays put and does not ride up, I stopped wearing CP's until this one came out cause I was tired of constantly having to push it back down into place.
Women's gear is not all that great, the fit is not there and the colors......ewww. I wear mens Shift Recon gear, it fits well and its very durable. For the pants, you have to go one size up from what you would normally wear so there is room for your hips and booty..

I bought some Fox Womens gear and I hate it, wore it once. Know anyone that wants some size 5 Fox womens gear? There is way too much room in the butt and in the thigh area with some women's gear. I realize that it's not a fashion show out there on the trails or on the track but I dont want to ride around looking like I am wearing a full diaper under my gear either.
I have a set of Fleshgear as well, the pants are not that durable but they are very comfortable, I use the Fleshgear in the summer or if I am out on sand. They dont offer the same protection as the Shift gear.
Boots, Alpine Stars, Tech 8. I cant say enough about those.
Try on and men's and women's boots, women's boots sit lower on the calf so depending on your height, the men's may offer you better protection.
Kidney Belts, I dont use one...
Go to your local dealer and try on different gear, I suggest walking around the shop in the gear and sitting on a bike or two just to see how it feels when you actually throw a leg over a bike..