Next time your in the Dog House

[John_Lorenz]

Sorry its not about the yz but its funny

Maybe we could use this on some rap muzic then it would make sence

http://news.com.com/2100-1040-908909.html

[ May 11, 2002: Message edited by: EgoAhole ]

[tmgolden]

Do you know if they sell a device that would help us understand your posts?

Ha, ha... Just kidding.

[cowboyona426]

What about a device that translates what women say? So that when they SAY something, we know what they REALLY MEAN ? . Of course, nothing like that would ever be possible, because we all know women work in strange ways . I just wish I knew if when I said, "Honey, I'm going riding," and she said, "ok," she meant "go have fun and don't kill or maim yourself" or "you'll be sorry when you get back for leaving me alone all day you s.o.b!" Of course, maybe I could just have the dog tell me what she really means...

[Boit]

Cowboybona...ain't it da truth? Case in point: I dated a lady a couple of years ago who was driving her Mustang along the interstate when lo and behold, the red "temp" light came on. She continued driving for about 3 more miles until the engine seized. I asked her why she kept driving after the red light came on and her reply was classic..."becuz....it kept running". Only women's logic can come up with something like that.

If she asks you if you are hungry, you better say yes and get to the nearest restaurant. What she really meant was that SHE was hungry and you are wrong if you can't absorb the hint.

ETC...

[John_Lorenz]

Cowboy

First rull of thumb when that happens is the wife is saying yes, But the subliminul message is she is actually shaking her head NOOOOOOOOO!

[cowboyona426]

Ego, I know what you mean man! I just wish I knew when yes meant yes and when yes meant no! Sometimes I think yes means yes and it means no, and sometimes yes means no and I think it means yes. Guess that's what I get for doin my own thinking huh? ?

Boit- is she still around? If she is, don't let her NEAR your bike, it doesn't even have a light! My fiancee blew an engine out of a 1990 ford ranger once because her grandpa told her to add a little oil every now and then, so every few months she'd dump a quart down the thing! I'm glad that was before I met her and I didn't have to foot the bill!

[Boit]

coybona, she's long gone! Happy days are here again! ?

[sirthumpalot]

There is one very important lesson that I learned very early in marriage. When it comes to something important (i.e. anytihng to do with the bike), it's typically easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. ?

[John_Lorenz]

SirThumpy

BINGO !!! ?

[PumpkinHumper]

Whenever I tell the wife Im going ridding I get the reply "fine, whatever". What does this mean? Is it as bad as I think it is.

[John_Lorenz]

yzman

Oh thats the worst kinda answer ever ?

That means no matter what you do your hosed big time.

I bet its the "Fine - Whatever"

with the distant look

Ya might as well just go lay down in a corner.

[PumpkinHumper]

You crack me up.

Thats pretty much what I figured it was.

The way I see it. If she cant give me a straight answer. The hell with it. Im going ridding anyways. Ill deal with the concequences later.

She cant stay mad forever right! RIGHT???

[John_Lorenz]

My wife never gets histericle

She Gets Historicle ?

Short Answer

Thats rule # 4

Wife has the right to stay mad forever

[ May 13, 2002: Message edited by: EgoAhole ]

[wflee26]

First off, let me say, Great Postings! In response to the girlfriend/wife/riding issue, let me help. An ex-girlfriend sent this to me "in hopes that the next one won't suffer as I did".

Enjoy

Subject: The Women's Vocabulary

Keywords and their meanings.

FINE

This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your motorcycle race is going to last before you take out the trash, so we feel

that it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with normal eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools

off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at

that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

OH

This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example: "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night". If

she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go

Ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned,

you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is

that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing"

[Shawn_Mc]

WERD UP MY BRUTHA!

Ego ya, I got me a mean one fer sure. Ya cant have looks and temprament too (or maybe you can, no such luck here) ?

[John_Lorenz]

know what ya mean

all I gotta say is on those PMS days I dont care what happens its best to be out in the woods riding, then home being hunted down like a dawg ?

[RSA210]

Look it's REAL SIMPLE don't ask much from your women.ALL I ASK of my wife is that while i'm out riding is TWO THINGS;

1.YOUR BOYFRIEND IS GONE WHEN I GET HOME.

2.HE LEAVE HIS MONEY ON THE DRESSER BEFORE

LEAVING.

?

[cowboyona426]

LMAO this is great! I must say, I opened a big 'ol can o worms with my first post on this thread ? . I'm glad to see that not everyone has the same probs I do. ShawnMC, I'm sorry man. Hang in there, it might get better. Of course, it could get worse too ! Maybe someday some guy who is much more highly intelligent than me will be able to figure out everything women mean, but I kinda doubt it. FYI, I respond to this thread when my fiancee is at work !

[PumpkinHumper]

Just living with them is bad enough.

I gave up trying to figure my wife out. Ill never understand her.

Just when I think I got it figured out she goes off.

When I think she wont care she goes off. When I know she is gonna go balistic she dont even give me a second look.

And the next day she has reversed it. I swear just to keep me off balance.

And heavin forbid its that time of the month. I just take my 5yr old son, load up his and my bike and run. She usually returns to normal in a few days, no worse for wear. Hormones! ya gotta love em.

[SoundChaser]

There is a guy on the radio out here. His name is Tom Lyekis(sp?) he is a total crack-up. His response would be "dump that bitch"!

?