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2 replies to this topic
  • John_Lorenz

Posted April 12, 2002 - 09:01 PM

#1

Here is to you all

Thou Shalt List
1. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors Bike, Thou Shalt Go and Buy a Bigger Better Faster One
2. Thou Shalt Keep Thy front end UP!!
3. Thou shalt not gaze upon an area thou wish not to tread upon.
4. Thou shalt not twist the throttle before it's time (in reference to twisting it when it's not running, man I hate it when people do that!)
5. Thou shalt not chop the throttle on thy face of thy jump without dire consequences
6. Thou Shalt GAS IT WHEN IN DOUBT
7. Thou Shalt Dress for the crash, not for thee ride.
8. Thou Shalt Never Say “Dude Hold my beer and watch this!!"
9. Thou shall not ask, 'Dude, can you kick this thing a couple of times for me?


Hospital List
1. "Thats one you want to clear or you'll be in the hospital!"
2. "Hospital Run... I'm driving!!"
3. “Noooo! That wasn't a CRASH! I "just" tipped over! “Yes it Hurts””
4. "No matter how steep the hill, you can always get to the bottom,,,,,Eventually"
5. “Ouch! That looked like it hurt. HOW’S THE BIKE?”
6. "Just pretend its flat and give it the gas!!" “This was said to me by my little brother who was the first to jump our new Double double.”
7. “It's not the speed that kills you...it's the sudden stop!”
8. “Practice makes perfect, but stupidity will be painful”
9. “Dude, you almost made it” As heard from the Back of the Ambulance
10. “No Doc! I fell off a ladder, as he signals to the Doc his wife is right behind him.
11. Injured rider: "Doc, it hurts when I do this"(moving injured limb) Doc: "Then don't do that"

Quotes List
1. “I BOUGHT A BIKE FOR MY WIFE, AND IT WAS A GOOD TRADE!"
2. “Ahh don’t worry about it, its a four stroke, it doesn’t use hardly any gas at all.”
3. "REV LIMITER! WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' REV LIMITER!"
4. “Why replace it when you could duct tape it” While pulling the tank off a project bike. Rich: "Funny looking tank mount spacer" Kev (me): "Thats because its a chain roller"
5. "Trust me, I know these trails like I know my own back yard" 10 min later: "Really guys, the trucks are just over that ridge." 2 hrs later, no gas, no water, no food, no trucks in sight: "Do you think the bears are still in hibernation around here?"
6. "I thought I had it!", "I swear I did it last week!"
7. “EARTH FIRST - we'll ride the other planets later”
8. “Scared mom so bad she peed her pants”
9. "I 'aught to check my sprocket bolts....nah, I just checked 'em last week, they were plenty tight."
10. “Dude! If Mike Metzker can do it..I can do it..watch....I'll show ya!”
11. “THIS ONE TIME.....AT MOTOCROSS CAMP....!!!”
12. "Yeah, I smoked pot...AND I liked it"
a. -Mayor Bloomberg of New York City
13. “It’s tough to steer with one wheel in the air”
14. “If you didn't crash today, you weren't trying hard enough”
15. “OK, one more lap and then I'm quitting' Ok just one more lap, really now this is the last lap I'm about to run out of gas I Gotta quit This is it, last lap so on and so on until I either run out of gas, get hurt or bike breaks”.
16. If you have a extra brand new plug in your pack you can get away with running 20:1 oil mix, rich jetting, and dumping your bike over in a 3 foot stream, and the plug will not foul. Ride without an extra plug and the darn thing will foul 25 miles from the trucks at the bottom of the steepest hill with an hour 45 minutes of sunlight left. It's a law of motorcycle nature."


10 Reasons
1. Reasons that a bike is better than a wife.
2. Your bike wont get mad at you if you go ride another bike.
3. You don’t have to do any foreplay before riding your bike.
4. Your bike won’t get pissed if you fall asleep after riding it.
5. Your bike never has "that time of the month"
6. All your bike needs to be happy is an oil change and a clean air filter.
7. You don’t have to wait till your bike is "in the mood" until you go ridding.
8. You can ALWAYS trade in your "old" bike for a new model w/o extensive paperwork and lawyers.
9. You CAN have multiple bikes (legally)......not multiple wives!(WARNING: This rule does not necessary apply to those of us IN or AROUND Utah!!)
10. You can get away with NOT LUBING your bike once in a while!!!!
If your "REAR END" on your bike starts to sag too much you just tighten up the preload!!!!
OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!


Already Published by david r cauthen
1. the smell of race gas & premix is more stimulating than you wife or girlfriends perfume
2. you have race gas and prmix in your weed eater just so you can smell it
3. if you have a nickname like "hunney butt", but can still go fast around a mx track
4. when you leave a grocery store, you insist on driving the buggy so that you can practice preloading and wheeling over the speed bumps in the parking lot.
5. you always complain to convenience store managers that dont have mx magazines on their racks, even though you subscribe to all of them anyway.
6. your bathroom is a shrine to every major mx mag available (except MXA)
7. you like to hear people ask, "oh howd you do that?"
8. your car is still covered in salt and slag from the snow and ice storms but your bikes are spotless
9. you have a cracked visors on all of your helmets
10. when you see a perfectly manicured rolling golf course, you become dizzy and so overcome with emotion, you have to have time alone and a place to lie down.


Last Minute Entries ---
1. I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes!!!!!!!
AND THIS ONE TOO!!!
For those of us that are either married or have teenage girls!!!!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
2. "oh you f*%&ing B£$ted" good to use after a major big bone breaking crash.
3. “Original tires, 300 miles on the rear and 100 miles on the front”.

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  • Thumpy79

Posted April 12, 2002 - 11:22 AM

#2

Sweet list!! Man, that's a lot of quotes.

  • Shawn_Mc

Posted April 12, 2002 - 02:00 PM

#3

Whom ever wrote that weed eater one must live on my street :)





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