Wanna hear something funny



40 replies to this topic
  • Kirtwell

Posted April 04, 2002 - 05:14 AM

#21

I'm feeling alot better hearing about your times..however I didn't know it was legal to tell about your buddy's embarrassing moment :D

First I'd like to say sorry Rich, I know I broke my promise. :D

Last summer a few buddies got together. It was the end of the day and starting to get dark.
Most of the guys already left for home but me and my buddy Rich were talking about the day's ride and sipping on some brews.

I decided to put my bike in the truck before I had another beer........ so I pulled out my trusty 2 X 12 treated wood ramp. Got on big blue and rode it in the back of my truck.

Rich says "You're going to bust your a$$ riding that bike up in the back of that truck one of these days".

I say..."everyone tells me that but I'm good bro......you wanna use it to load your bike"?

He says, "Hell no...I'm not that stupid!!!!"

Well I get a beer out for me and give one to him....we're talking about riding and bikes and the whole time he's eyeballing that ramp.

I said "well Rich...I'd better get going...you sure you don't want to use my ramp to load your bike.....I mean don't do it if your scared" :)

Hey!!! F-you...I'm not scared...give me that dam thing.

Keep in mind...Rich drives a small truck...a Chevy S-10.

Ol' Rich gets on his bike and fires it up....pulls up to the ramp....... lines it up straight....I could tell he was not wanting to do this :D

He backs his bike up a few feet and revs his motor up a tad and gently eases out on the clutch....then someething went wront...

His front tire no more touches the ramp and he panics....pins the bike wide open and dumps the clutch......he freaking lauches into the back of the truck...almost clearing the cab but hits just above the rear glass....the impact was so hard it complety throws him off the bike and over the side of the truck....the last thing i saw was the soles of his Alpine Stars..then... poof...ugggggg

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH My God I have never laughed or will ever laugh that hard in my life.

I know I promised to never tell anyone this story...again I'm sorry Rich...are we still friends???? LOL

  • John_Lorenz

Posted April 04, 2002 - 05:39 AM

#22

A non Dirt Bike Story But true

I promised my Brothet I would never tell,

My Real Bro was in the army station in Hawaii, He and some buds got a weekend pass so the decided to hooker up some babes and the local bar and dive. Well As he tells me he got to dancing and kissing on this real fine Polinesion gal, on thing lead to another and Whammmo he is in the Motel Room with this fine Poilenesion gal.

As He told me I sware this is true, He got to the heavy neckin part and started to put out the search for other terratories, well low and behold he finds the mark. Thats when he found out his Poinesion gal was Name MARK

True Story, I promised I would never tell anyone. :) Man I have never been that drunk :D

Whats this got to do with Dirt Bike Bench racing ?
Plenty and here is the moral of this story
Never twist a grip unless its on a bike :D

[ April 04, 2002: Message edited by: EgoAhole ]

  • thumper4life

Posted April 04, 2002 - 07:09 AM

#23

Oooooooh! :D

lol :)

  • beezer

Posted April 04, 2002 - 11:27 AM

#24

I think I can win the dumbest crash contest hands down. I was at the local mx track a couple of years ago racing a YZ250. This track has a blind double jump that goes into a big tall table top. On the side of the table top is the scoring tower. On the other side of the table top is the bleachers for the spectators. It had rained the night before and the approach was all rutted up. On the last lap I passed 2 guys over the double and landed in the ruts, my front wheel in 1 rut and my back wheel in another. I then grabbed a big handful and shot off the jump at an angle. I hit the scoring tower so hard I almost knocked it over. As I was aproaching I could see the flagger's eyes get as big as saucers. People told me it looked like the guard tower scene on F TROOP. I got up slowly and everyone was pointing at me and staring with their mouths open. For the rest of my life I will be known as the idiot who hit the scoring tower. To really put the icing on the cake one of my buddies has the whole thing on video.

  • Shawn_Mc

Posted April 04, 2002 - 01:44 PM

#25

When I was about 8, my dad would take me to Ascot on friday night for the 1/2 mile flat track. One night a couple guys got together in turn four came off the wall all sideways about 75 mph, bars locked, throttles pinned. The hit the starters stand and turned it into toothpicks. Killed the starter and sent both riders to the hospital unconscious. Never heard what happened to them, but the starter left in the ambulance with the sheet pulled over his head and no lights or siren. Bad deal that night.

  • sirthumpalot

Posted April 04, 2002 - 01:53 PM

#26

beezer you have to make a mpeg out of that video and put it on the web!

  • John_Lorenz

Posted April 04, 2002 - 02:41 PM

#27

I second that SirThumpy that needs to be shared. hey I got the equip to get in in Mpeg or avi or ? We can then get Motoman to place it on his site

?????

  • motoman393

Posted April 04, 2002 - 03:27 PM

#28

LOL Just send me the file and I will put it on my site (it sounds pretty funny LOL). Im sure the tripod bandwidth people will love a couple hundred people downloading a 10MB+ video :) I am redoing my site right now (should be ready by the end of the weekend or so) and it will be more "basic" and wont use as much bandwidth as the current one. I will post the link whenever I get my new site uploaded. Later,

Garrett

  • moto_madman

Posted April 04, 2002 - 05:34 PM

#29

I would love to see that video. :) Maybee someone shoud start a post on a good title for it. While i'm here i might as well tell the story of the mailbox incident. I was on a mountain bike but it is still funny. A few years ago when i was 12 i was riding down the street with a couple of riding buddies. We were coming up to a stop sign with a with a minivan full of hot girls about my age opposit from us. Being the showoff that i am i just had to do a brakie(stoppie). Pulled it off perfectly. We rounded the corner and I noticed the van behind us so i did one hell of a wheelie almost all the way down the street. I brought it down and was doing about 20 mph. Checking to see if the van was still behind us i turned my head. Then WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM. The next thing i know i'm slidding on the ground still holding on to the bars. My buddies were laughing so hard they all lost it and went down. The van rolled by with everyone looking. I got up and realized i had completely taken out a mailbox. Snapped the post right in half! I still cant go by that mailbox without laughing.

  • beezer

Posted April 05, 2002 - 04:23 AM

#30

If there is a way to put it on the web I would. I'm a technical moron, the only reason I got a computer was my wife canceled all my subcriptions to skin magazines. If someone wants to put it on the webd I'll send them a copy of the tape.

Visit the ThumperTalk Store for the lowest prices on motorcycle / ATV parts and accessories - Guaranteed
  • Wyatt

Posted April 05, 2002 - 04:31 AM

#31

I have a story. This one time, back in band camp.............Wait a second...that wasn't me.

  • John_Lorenz

Posted April 05, 2002 - 04:38 AM

#32

Moto MadMan

And you will drive by that Box all your life and laugh, thats what makes us so unigue and life so fulfilling, Thanks for sharing that

Beezer

I have all the Gizmo's that can allow me to edit and pull from a VHS to a Mpeg, AVI or whatever. All I will need is a copy of the VHS or the segment you want posted. I can convert it and Motoman can post it. I have ample space as well.

If your interested send me a PM and we can hook up. FREE I am offering :)

  • thumper4life

Posted April 05, 2002 - 04:55 AM

#33

im lookin forward to this! :)

  • oldnbold

Posted April 05, 2002 - 05:20 AM

#34

had a good day at the practice track, rode hard and spanked a few youngsters (who were parked next to me). Had the ramp ready to ride up into the box van, did a little show-off wheelie while lining up for the ramp, began my rapid ascent into the box van and got clotheslined by the EZ-up...rolled off the back of the bike as it ghost rode into the van... looked at the kids (who were watching) and in my best Pee Wee Herman voice "I meant to do that".

  • beezer

Posted April 05, 2002 - 05:22 AM

#35

Free is for me! One of my friends is a computer genius but I think he is still upset about the cigars I gave his kid last month. I don't know what the problem is they were Henry Clays.

  • Thumpy79

Posted April 05, 2002 - 10:21 PM

#36

A buddy of mine had just bought an old Honda Oddesy. I went over to his house to check it out. He said that he hadn't riden it yet so I said, "go for it." I started the thing up for him and it fired right up. Blam he shot down the street turned around and came back. Wow!! It's my turn. I get in and he starts it up (pull-start) and I go full trottle up throught the nieghbors yard, I try to brake and nothing happens, so I turn out into traffic and jump the curb back onto the lawn and head back. As I get closer to where he and his Mom are standing I try to pull the emergency break but that doesn't work either. They bolt out of the way as I crash into the fence. That was day one!

The next day we take the Oddessy up to Berthoud along with my bike and my buddy says that he thinks he has the brakes fixed. So we get there and park up at the top of the track with high expectation for the new toy. Well the brakes seem to be holding so we fire it up with my buddy in the drivers seat. Like a rocket the thing takes off (turns out that the trottle is stuck wide open) with no brakes. He tries to stop it by turning it to the off position but the regular off-on-off switch is bassackwards and is on-off-on. He turns 90 degrees and all the sudden the buggy stops and it appears that the rear wheel has gone ito a trench. Well after a second the wheel comes rolling out from behind the buggy and began its decent down the hill. One of the guys we were up with retrived the wheel before it got to far away because I couldn't stand up because I was laughing so hard.

  • PumpkinHumper

Posted April 05, 2002 - 11:54 AM

#37

We were at the local track ridding with a few friends getting some practice in. My friend Stumpy had had enough and was packin it up for the day. He lined up his Ktm with his loading ramp on the back of his Ford Ranger like he'd done a million times before. He rode his bike up, no problem. Thats when the fun started. Stumpy is a little verticaly challenged. He went to put his foot down on the wheel well and missed. I cought this out of the corner of my eye as he started to fall over to his left. By the time I got to him, he and his bike had fallen over on the bed side. He continued out of the truck only to be stopped by his left leg, Pined between the bike and the truck bed. There he was, hanging upside down from the side of his truck, his leg pined by his bike. I tried to help him but I wasn't much use lying on the ground laughing with everyone else in the pits. Someone finially wiped the tears from there eyes and helped him out, no worse for wear. Funiest damn thing I ever saw.

  • John_Lorenz

Posted April 05, 2002 - 12:06 PM

#38

yzman
That was halariuos, I have that mental picture in my mind, willkeep me snikering all day.

To bad ya did not get a pic of that

Blackmail is the best mail

  • PK

Posted April 05, 2002 - 09:40 PM

#39

I got 2 of em. First one was my buddy trying to learn to do a Nac-Nac. He went off the jump, kicked his leg over the seat and his boot got caught on the seat. That was how he landed, with his right boot stuck behind him on the seat, and that was how he hit the tree, with his right boot stuck behind him on the seat.
The other one was with my brother when we were jumping in and out of riverbed. I came off about an 8 foot embankment down towards the river. It looked like grass, and it was but it was like some kind of hellish marsh grass that was floating on water. Needless to say the tires broke right through and the bike stopped dead in its tracks, but I didn't. I did a perfect backflop over the bars into the soup. When I got up the bike still sitting upright buried up to the bottom of the motor. The only thing I could hear was my brother yowling. He was laughing so hard he fell over and dropped his CZ, which was always a good site for me. Damn Czech's...

PK

  • MANIAC998

Posted April 06, 2002 - 06:04 AM

#40

Oh man I don't know if you guys know what you've started! This once, back in my ATV days, a bunch of us went riding when we had come up on a pretty nasty mud bog. I was bringing up the rear, and when I got there, there were many stuck wheeler's. But alas, I am smarter than the average ATVer! I happen to notice a solid looking patch right about in the middle of the mud bog, and as I look around for a little bump to jump from, I, unbeknownst to me, draw the attention of the remaining riders that are not stuck. As I turn around to get a better run at it, one of my buddies tries to get my attention to stop me. At the threat of bodily injury, he is convinced to keep his mouth shut! Third gear, mid throttle, I come around the corner and eye my launch into immortality. In retrospect, I should have known something was up, seeing as how everyone had stopped what they were doing, and were now watching me. But of course, at this point, there was no stopping now. I hit the jump perfect, and had gauged the trajectory correctly. The only thing I had not considered was that the solid looking chunk of earth, was in fact not solid enough to handle the impact of me and my quad. Instantly, the quad stopped, and I didn't. I do have very good upper body strength though, and I valiantly refused to let go of the handlebars. As my body continued onward and upward, my face came increasingly close to said earth. Upon completion of my impersonation of an ostrich, my arms finally let go of the handlebars. And there I was, my head barried up to my shoulders in thick mud!!! Now mind you, if someone tells you you can't hear anyone while your head is barried in mud, I'll call them a liar, because I could most certainly hear their laughter thru that mud. It took them way to long to help dig my head out too!!! Time does heal wounds though, because this happened dozens of years ago, and I am only now seeing the humor in this! :)





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