Wanna hear something funny



40 replies to this topic
  • Kirtwell

Posted April 03, 2002 - 03:41 AM

#1

Hey fellow thumpers,
Yesterday I went to a local practice track. I unloaded my bike got my gear on and fired big blue up. I let it warm up for a min or so.
Dam this weather is great and the track looks pretty good....this is going to be a great day!!!!
(I'll be the fastest guy out here for sure...)

I'm in first gear all the way to the gate of the track...I get on the track and roll a few jumps..just to get warmed up...turned the first corner....put her in second and poured on a little throttle to pop over a little 30' double. Cleared it like I have hundreds of times before...easy! (Dam I'm good....)
Next obstacle was a step up. A small ramp pops you up to a table top about 7 foot up. It's really easy to make...just a burp in 2nd on my bike....so here I go. (Dam I'm so smooth...)
I'm going just fast enough to get me to the top of the step-up....usually I jump over to the backside....but no biggie...i'm just warming up right? (Cause I'm really am good at this...)
I come up to the face lean way up on the bars burp big blue and airborne I go....all the way up to the top....then I land...PoP....engine stalls....instantly throws my big a$$ completely over the bars .....ther i go.....tumbling down the backside of the jump.... :) :D :D

DAM I SUCK BAD!!!!!!!!!!

I get up and dust myself off and pick my bike up...both of us are fine....everyone saw it and were all laughing....OMG :D
I can't believe that happened to me.....anyone else have some embarrassing story like that to share with me so I'll feel better? :D

  • Merfman

Posted April 03, 2002 - 04:11 AM

#2

Originally posted by Kirtwell:
Hey fellow thumpers,

I can't believe that happened to me.....anyone else have some embarrassing story like that to share with me so I'll feel better? :)


Nope, I've never done anything that stoopid. :D

Except maybe that time at the Steamboat enduro where I got the "trots" about 4 minutes before my minute was due. Decided to make a dash to the porta potty. As I was racing up to the front door, performed a perfect brake slide right up to the side, and managed to somehow get my inside foot stuck on the peg. I fell over like Artie Johnson, right in front of the PP, just as the previous occupant was coming out.

NotMerf

  • John_Lorenz

Posted April 03, 2002 - 04:44 AM

#3

KirtWell

Come on Now the EgoMan Do something that would embare-ass himself, Ya gotta be kidding, April 1 is over buddy :)
Well I do recal in a moment of sobriaty, one day at the old Fremont CA Raceway, We entered a marathon on a Old Montessa 250. Well the brakes were not lets just say broken in yet, (ya Know those Euro Bikes). I rode the first leg (About an Hour) as I was attempting to pull into the Rider change area, Which just happend to be after a very long slow sweeping, banked Straight away. I began to slow down (I Thought), brakes applied "WHAAAT BRAAAAKES" As I easily shattered the rider change area speed limit "Quite Respectivly I will Ad" I suddenly noticed My head being pulled back tighter and tighter and tighter. Then Whammmo I suddenly found myslef flat on my back looking up. My Dang Duck Bill got hookup with the Marker flag rope and jerked me right off the bike. The bike needless to say handled so well it continued down Rider Change area at a handsome rate, with every one ducking for cover. Well to make a long story even shorter "Or Visa Virsa" The Bike Finally came to rest into the side of a row of Porta Crappers, and completely took the first one out, knocking the first into the second and scaring the "CRAP" out the dude in the 3rd. Well anyway My buddy did not get to ride he was laughing so hard he could hardly walk, he missed his time to go out so we sat for an hour until the next cange came.

Talk about the snikering, hey look thats the guy who passed a porta crapper, :D

  • Kirtwell

Posted April 03, 2002 - 05:47 AM

#4

EgoAhole
LLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL

  • Hokie

Posted April 03, 2002 - 05:53 AM

#5

I was having a good day at the track, holding off my buddies, jumping well, etc.....

Pull off the track, cruising back to the truck slowly, looking around, "Yeah I'm fast today, I'm the man...."

Next thing I know *WHAM* I'm on the ground in the prking lot, bike on top of me, broken clutch lever, day over.

What happened?
I still don't know!

  • Shawn_Mc

Posted April 03, 2002 - 08:20 AM

#6

Ya wanna hear a bad one, well here goes. I was out playing on a TT course at the Old Saddleback in Orange county and myself and another guy were going at it pretty good. I was riding my Uncles 250 Ducati Dyana. It was set up for short track, spool hub in front, dirttrack tires the whole nine yards. Well, as me and this guy, (he was riding an old Bultaco set up the same way), were going at it, we got together about a half dozen times, and some where in the mix, my rear brake pull rod got ripped off, but I had no idea. So Im riding back to the truck, la di da, riding up to the back of the truck, WHAM right into the back of the truck. &%$#@!? No brake. Glad I was going slow, but lets just say this, that old duck didnt exactly have a flat transition from tank to seat. OW!

  • sirthumpalot

Posted April 03, 2002 - 09:37 AM

#7

There was this time when I was unloading from the truck that it started to lean the other way. I teeter tottered with it for a good 5 seconds before it pulled me over. I did a superman over it and somehow landed on both feet. Unfortunately the bike landed upside down on the seat adding a slight adjustment to my subframe. The guys standing near by were trying to ask if I was OK but it was hard to understand through their laughter...

Next worst is easily taking the hole shot at the start of the "Beginner" level practice only to loose the front wheel in the first corner and watch everyone pass as I scrambled in the soft dirt to get back on 2 wheels...heh...

  • Hootna

Posted April 03, 2002 - 09:52 AM

#8

My YZF was cursed with the dreaded slow speed stall. Well to start off I was sitting with one of my buddies on the side of a Hill at Hollister Hills in Cali where I do the majority of my riding. There is a trail that cuts up, but you cant see people coming up the hill. Well I pull out and these 2 morons go shooting by me like 4th gear so I get kind of mad. I mean the proper thing to do would have been to slow down and swing wide but no they just kept it pinned. Well I open up my bike and start reeling the back moron in and pass him over some of the 3 foot tall jumps and get up on the first idiot. Well at the top of this trail is an open area with a bench so I start to look back for my buddy who isnt there, and am doing like 1-2 mph. Well I see moron 2 come around the corner with my buddy right behind him, so I go to make a circle and then it happened. My YZF loads up coughs and stalls, I get slammed forward and cant get my foot off the peg. I start to fall to the left and my first reaction is to push myself away and up hoping I can put my foot down. As luck would have it my left foot didnt come loose my leg caught and I was thrown down flat on my back. I look over at the two morons who were looking at me and the worst thing was there was a chick sitting there. Man I felt like one complete SPODE!!!! Top that one!!! I have since changed my number :)

  • motoman393

Posted April 03, 2002 - 10:10 PM

#9

Well here is one of mine: The day after the Houston SX last year I rode at Skeeter's MX track! Well when we got to the track I was all pumped up (I guess I thought I was McGrath LOL, I had only been on the 426 for a few months and wasnt used to it) Well 15 secs after my ride started I wrecked on a VERY EASY 20ft step up and knocked myself unconscious (I endoed big time, cracking my helmet and bending my subframe and muffler). This was the 1st jump on the track and I seriously only rode for 15 secs before I was knocked out! To this day I still dont remember anything that happened that afternoon. But I cant think of a better way to get busted up (at least you have a cool story to tell :) ) Later,

Garrett

  • flyinguitars

Posted April 03, 2002 - 10:46 PM

#10

Rat racing,
Check your pm's
Mike

Visit the ThumperTalk Store for the lowest prices on motorcycle / ATV parts and accessories - Guaranteed
  • John_Lorenz

Posted April 03, 2002 - 10:54 PM

#11

These are great here is another one this time road Kill

I had an 1971 R5 built to TD3 specs, I road raced the beast. Anyway to test things out from time to time I would slap a battery on it and hook up the tail light and license. I decided to head down to me local shop to talk to the owner Alen Barbic (An X Pro RR'r) about the upcoming sears point race in Sanoma Ca. Well anyway back then I could balance on me bike forever, so it was a game to me to swing a leg over and drive off seeing how far I could get with out ever placing a foot on the ground. Sooooooo Offff I go

Feet on the pegs riding down the expressway about 3 miles coming to the stop lite. It happens to turn red so I start coasting up closer closer closer until I have to stop, now the fun begins

Not placing my foot down I start waiting for the green, suddenly I start to drift right, further further and further until I figure enough ok I loose place foot down on ground NOOOOWWWWW.

Well thats the point back in those days Bell Bottoms were the thing and yes I had them on and yes the Kick Starter was riding right up my leg on the inside of the Bells. This stopped me from getting my foot down in time to ... Yup ya guessed it Broekn Elbow as a result of slaming the ground. The Car in the Lane next to me rolled down the window to see if I am ok, as his kids were yelling dady look the man on the motorcycle he fell down. The chicks in the VW Bug behind me just layed on the horn and was laughing (If They Only Knew).

Man talkk about being pissed off I broke a brand new pair of Tomacelli Brake levers, along with me elbow.

There is a moral of the story were I dont know :)

  • Merfman

Posted April 03, 2002 - 10:57 PM

#12

Oooohhh, I thought the question was "embarrasing" moments....

July 10, 1994, Rand Colorado, Calamity Pass enduro. About 7 miles from first gas, I come into a clearing and see about 30 spectators standing in the clearing. Those of you who ride enduros know that spectators mean trouble, so I start looking around to see what the big deal is, and in the process, overshoot the next corner. I peg a big (30') aspen with the right handlebar and see the tree shake. I downshifted into 2nd, turned left and started roosting away. About the time, I hear the roar of the crowd. "Cool" I think, "they're out here cheering everyone on!" Tap into 3rd, whack the throttle and about that time, I hear the loudest THWOCK!!, feel my head being pulled backward and am numb from the shoulders down, falling backwards off the bike. What the fuuunnnngggghhhhhh... wad. I'm laying in the middle of the trail, dumbfounded by what the hell has just happened (I don't have a clue) and start to take inventory. I'm buzzing like a whacked funny bone from the shoulders down so I knew I'd broken my neck. I wiggle my fingers, then my toes, and decide I'm OK for now. About that time one of the spectators ran up and yelled "He's alive!" WHAAAT? sez I and I ask her what the hell just happened. "That tree you hit? Remember that?" Yea "It fell on you!" The last 6" of a 30' aspen tree hit me squarely in the top of my head. I broke 2 spinous processes and one vertebrae. After about 30 minutes of laying in the trail I walked away and went back to camp. I didn't find out about the broken neck until almost 6 months later. I got checked out the next day but the doctor couldn't see the break and pronounced me a very lucky induhvidual. Two weeks later I have a head-on collision with a course worker at the Steamboat enduro. 94 was a bad year for me.

Merf

  • John_Lorenz

Posted April 03, 2002 - 10:59 PM

#13

Merf Thats a 8 pointer Good work

  • DethWshBkr

Posted April 03, 2002 - 11:25 AM

#14

I've pulled a couple of boners. My first year of riding ('99) on my old KX250 up in the poconos. Day after Christmas. COLD!!!!! Only my family (my dad, me, my uncle, and my cousin). and one other guy was riding. Well, I am on my way to the track from the parking lot. Slow down to make a left turn, not doing 5 mph. I get going, and WHEEEE. The whole back end of the bike spins out on me. Turns out I hit a BIG patch of ice!! I didn't realize it was ice, as it was covered under a thin dusting of snow!! DOH.

I go to pick the bike up, in pain, only to find I can't stand. I limp and hobble, holding onto anything I can, to the little shack they have to store stuff in. 15 mintutes later, my knee is swollen up 2X the normal size, and I can't move it.

Apon x-rays, it is found I snapped the top of my tibia, where the tendons attach. The little nubs just clean broke off from the twist. Underwent surgury to get it all fixed back up, and was borderline MCL and ACL replacement. Fortunately, they healed up just peachy. :) 3 months of no riding, in an immobilizer, and I show up at the first hare-scramble of the year to win a trophy!! (14th place, but hey, a trophy nonetheless!!)


6 Months later, same place, this time on the expert track.....
I just passed dad pretty good, was getting ready to nail the top of a high bank 180 turn, and I lock up the front brake, and take it to the inside stop. I slide, rather harmlessly, off the edge. This hill drops about 20 feet, at about a 45 degree angle. In the instant I am hanging on the edge of the hill (I almost stopped), I angle the bike to see if I can ride down it. About 5 feet down, I tip over, and slide, head first, down to the bottom. Jump back up, shake my head in utter disbelief of the STUPIDITY that took to do, and take a step to pick the bike up. Ow...that didn't feel right. Sit down. Walk a little more, feel something inside my boot. A stone!! Hmm, nope, broke my leg, almost at the ankle. No real pain, unless I try to walk. 6 weeks in a cast. Fortunately, I didn't miss any of my hare scrambles!! :D

I use Tech 8's too...I have NO idea how I broke my leg though!! I think it may have just been the twisting from sliding down the hill....
:D

  • motoman393

Posted April 03, 2002 - 12:18 PM

#15

Oh yeah here is a FUNNY story about my friend Matt (Matt406)...

Me, Matt, and about 6 other friends were riding in a ditch close to our house about 2 years ago. We have been riding all day long and were taking a break on top of a little hill. Well I decided to go take a pee over by a fence about 20ft away. Well my friend Matt thought it would be funny to start his bike and attempt to roost me. The dirt around the area was tempting it looked like soft loam (perfect for roosting an innocent pisser :) ) Well he comes toward me with a $h!t eatin' grin and nails the throttle hard in 2nd gear...well instead of roosting crap all over me he hooks up awesome and totally loops out (right in front of everyone) I fell down and started laughing my @$$ off and even Matt couldnt stop laughing. That was a time I wish I had a camera. I dont know maybe it was one of those things were you had to be there, but it was hillarious! This is a great thread, Ego you are Nuckin' Futs LOL Later,

Garrett

  • Shawn_Mc

Posted April 03, 2002 - 12:38 PM

#16

Ive got another one that kinda funny, me and some buddies were at Indian Dunes in August of 1983 (read 125 degrees) anyway at the end of the day we used to ride in the run off creek from Magic mountain. Most of the stream is only about 4inches deep. My buddy fell and was washing the sand out of his face and helmet and I decided to roost/spray him. So I layed the CR over big time into the stream in a berm shot style turn only to have the front wheel disappear into about 5 feet of water! Splash! There I am floating down stream, my bike stuck in the bottom with just the tip of the rear fender sticking out of the creek. Took me a good two hours to get that thing dried out.

  • John_Lorenz

Posted April 03, 2002 - 12:51 PM

#17

Motoman
No Im just egotisticle My buddie is nuts.

We ahd Thumpers we built I had a xl250 thumped to a 312 powrol kit, stroked and camed, he had a xl 350 with a mild cam in it and a powrol Pipe. I just got mine hook up and running so we started from My house to his two blocks over. Well we hit it going Mile Style, Knobs and all I got all side ways from the fresh ChenSShing (We were poor Drunks) on my street as we headed to the turn side by side. We both go shooting out into traffic making this major sweeper accross three lanes heading into his street. We are on the gas and hard, (Yes It was a Miricle we both did not get smoked hitting that Street) Young Dumb and drunk. Dont do that no mo).. Any way we started the apex into his street I was on the inside he was slightly off my left we are spanking the bikes. Any hoot My ass end breaks loose I am full lock feet on the pegs and fill me fruit of the looms real quick. My Buddie gets pushed out of his line and heads stright for a nieghbors driveway. On the way up the drive way he hits the little rizer transition from gutter to drive way and sets his front end climbing the sky, Al the time he is on the gas. Now he is heading striaght to his garage I am right behind him after doing a herendous tank slapper and recovering (WHEEEWWWWWW). So I am watching him and thing oh gad he aint gona make the juniper bushes man thats gonna hurt.

So ya he hist the things, his front wheel still in the air his back tire slams the juniper bush shoooting him into the ozone. MAn I have never seen and never will see a flying W like that again, I mean I swear to god it was so cool, I mean thi sguy hist so hard and fly sooooo high that His BUTT went WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!

I crashed my bike laughing so hard, His dad walked out just at the time he fly past the garage door and slammed into the fence taking the gate with him.
His mom ran out front and Man his Mom was so pissed she started beating on me that it was my fault.......His Mom really started wailing on me :)

:D Benchracing aside this is a true story

[ April 03, 2002: Message edited by: EgoAhole ]

  • Mike_Nyquist

Posted April 03, 2002 - 05:44 PM

#18

I was up in the mountaisn above my house in Oregon, I seen snow in the ditches but didn't think much of it, I see a 4 wheeler with a girl standing near it so I give the 426 a little more gas so she can hear how much more of a manly bike I have than her borfriends 4 wheeler. I ride by then and give the wave...... I go about 50 more feet and hit some snow in the road and lay it over. I know she was watching, but I didn't look aI just got back on and took the nearest trail so I could check my bike for scratches. It was truly imbarising.

  • herbski

Posted April 03, 2002 - 06:57 PM

#19

It was Mid Feb 1988 had a new cr250 about a week.
Studded the tires so I could go lake blasting!
Not much for dirt in Minnesota in Feb.
Went out to Lake Minnetonka It's a good sized lake w lots of bays in the prestegous west burbs of Minneapolis. Rode a few miles and came upon My girlfriends brother.(Now uncle Mark)Ice fishing
with his son He was about ten. B.S. with them for a while and I ask the boy "wana go for a ride?"
"sure man! cool! this is gona be great!"
so he gets on the front and I pilot from the rear.
we ride for a bit and I ask "wana drive it" him"no way" me"oh don't be a puss Just hang on to the bars" So he does and is doing great were in second maybe third and I slide off the back without his approval he's still doing fine.
I walk over to the fish house(a small 6x6hut with some holes in the floor a heater two chairs playboy pinups on the wall 24 empty beer cans and a bottle of J.D.)and enter Uncle mark "who's on the bike" Me"the boy" mark "no way" Me "yup take a look" The kid sees us and turns for usand starts freaking! he's in panic mode W.F.O.!
Just yanking on the gas waaa! waaa! waaa!
Ohh!Yaa! He knocks the boy off just milleseconds
before it impales the shack! splinters every where
All is well. bent bars I think other than the shack.

Herbski
Damn near pissed myself writing this.

  • Matt406

Posted April 03, 2002 - 07:05 PM

#20

Yall crash? Yall are weird, I never crash. Im the best rider everywehre I go. You guys are the people I like to laugh at!


Juat kidding, ive had my share of embarrassing stuff. this past weekend, i was at Splendora and had just learned the rhythym section( 3 doubles in a row) and was showing my friend( Motoman393,and another friend), I went around the soft turn fight before them, planted the tire in the rut, and then just washed out, and did a few somersaults. They were laughing at me, and I felt stupid, cus it looked like i just fell over in the turn, cus I was in 2nd gear. Oh well, i showed them the rhythyms anyways!
Matt





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